So, if a dishonest person with dementia says that water is wet, and you wanted to challenge his/her position because it is your personal opinion that water isn't wet, you just ad hominem them, and say that it is not ad hominem?
I will give you this much. Your length response sound like you're a pretty educated person.
C'mon. You're not even trying, now. This is mere caviling. If you believe that attaching a fallacy to an argument proves it false, that's your lone belief, not something anyone else has signed up for.
Not always, not every reference to another human speaker can be simply booted from the discussion, see Wikipedia as stated above. Or take some academic philosophy courses if you're still in doubt.
I will give you this much. Your length response sound like you're a pretty educated person.