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I've had periods of my life where I'm very active and fit, and periods when I'm not. To be honest, I have more time now than I ever have before (I work from home), but I'm actually less active.

I think it's a fundamental misunderstanding that staying active is associated greatly with free time or will power. In my experience it's more like a habit. For example, most people would not leave the house without brushing their teeth in the morning. It would just be disgusting. Most people will bathe once a day. Most people will wear clean laundry. None of these things take tremendous amounts of willpower because the aversion to not doing them is so strong.

In the active times of my life, that's exactly how I've felt about exercise. It's just feels awful not to do it. Just like you find time to brush your teeth, bathe, do your laundry, etc, etc -- you find time to exercise. You have a routine in your life and deviating from it makes you feel bad. It seems almost morally wrong to deviate from that routine.

Somewhat ironically, having more free time (and more options), I actually have a harder time doing all of these things now. I work from home and my wife goes out first thing in the morning. I'm alone. Do I need to eat breakfast? Do I need to brush my teeth? Do I need to bathe? Do I need to change my clothes? It's a running joke that remote contractors don't do these things, but there is some truth to it. Where I never needed willpower to do these things before, now I do!

Luckily the fix is simple (because even if you aren't motivated to do those things, you still feel awful not doing them). You make a routine and you stick to it. You remove options. Although you might reasonably think that sticking to a routine requires willpower, it's actually the opposite. Allowing yourself an option and still doing it is what requires will power.

So just like you would never leave for work without brushing your teeth and having a shower, now you must never leave without doing your exercise. And just like having a 3 hour bath is awesome (I live in Japan and go to the hot springs to do that every time I can!), it's not reasonable in most people's lives. You've got 20 minutes to take a shower. Well, you've got 20 minutes to exercise too (I recommend doing it just before you take a shower). Sure it limits your options about what you can do, but that's not necessarily bad.

If you can't find 20 minutes in your day -- then you have some big problems that you need to sort out. Sort them out because not having even 20 minutes to call your own will burn you out pretty darn quickly.




Confessions of a long time remote worker: once I didn't bathe for two months (I was really depressed). The funny thing is, after a week or so my skin and hair seemed to dry up and stop producing oils/smells (confirmed by a neutral third party). When I started bathing again I got really bad acne for weeks. I'm better about it now, but I'm still working at home and still hate taking showers and brushing my teeth. Try not to think about this the next time you're on a conference call with one of your remote coworkers. :)


Remote working is a lot harder on the psyche than most people think (before they do it ;-) ). Especially if you've done 1 or 2 days a week remote for a while (which IMHO is an optimal way to work), you start to think that working remote full time is going to be all sorts of amazing with no drawbacks. This is my second stint (first one I did for about 18 months, this one is 3 years this week). I'm definitely happier doing the remote thing now, but there are days/weeks/months where I would kill to go into the office (too bad it would cost me about $5K to get there...)

BTW, I've heard that there are bacteria that live on your skin that keep it relatively in good shape if you don't wash. It lives on the oils and urea that you excrete. When you wash frequently, the bacteria doesn't have a chance to sustain a healthy colony, so you end up greasy/stinky. Apparently still better to wash, but not nearly as horrible not washing as people assume (eventually).


Man, I hope things have gotten better! I've said a prayer for you.


The Power of Habit is a great book on how to form new habits or modify existing ones.




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