Hey man- You're getting a lot of advice. I'd even say some of it's good :) Here's my two bits - but only you can find out what'll work for you.
Around the time I turned 20 I started having bouts of serious depression that lasted from 2-5 days. And then I'd get better and be OK for a week or two. This was pretty debilitating, and left me more or less emotionally unstable until I sought professional help around the time I was 25. I frequently entertained suicidal thoughts in this period.
Around 25 I found a therapist I could trust, and a psychiatrist. I have a family history of alcoholism and bipolar disorder, and my psychiatrist diagnosed me as bipolar pretty quickly. For the past 5 years I've been taking an anti-depressant (celexa) and a mood stabilizer (lithium) every day. That, combined with weekly therapy, has made me 100% more functional in daily life.
Above all else, find a therapist. I'm on my 4th, have been seeing him weekly for 5 years, and I like him a lot. The first few you try might suck - I had one therapist who actually belittled my problems. I ditched her. My current therapist has helped me excavate and talk about the ugliest stuff in my head. Turns out it's a lot easier to live with if you can hold it, turn it over, and talk about it. I know for a fact that I'm a better person because of therapy.
Pharmaceuticals probably aren't for everybody. But they sure as hell helped me. I credit them in part with the healthy marriage, productive professional life, and happy social life I have now. I'm going to have a freakin' baby next month, and I'm psyched about it. You can work through this.
Good luck. You're already drowning in advice, but here's my story. Cheers!
Around the time I turned 20 I started having bouts of serious depression that lasted from 2-5 days. And then I'd get better and be OK for a week or two. This was pretty debilitating, and left me more or less emotionally unstable until I sought professional help around the time I was 25. I frequently entertained suicidal thoughts in this period.
Around 25 I found a therapist I could trust, and a psychiatrist. I have a family history of alcoholism and bipolar disorder, and my psychiatrist diagnosed me as bipolar pretty quickly. For the past 5 years I've been taking an anti-depressant (celexa) and a mood stabilizer (lithium) every day. That, combined with weekly therapy, has made me 100% more functional in daily life.
Above all else, find a therapist. I'm on my 4th, have been seeing him weekly for 5 years, and I like him a lot. The first few you try might suck - I had one therapist who actually belittled my problems. I ditched her. My current therapist has helped me excavate and talk about the ugliest stuff in my head. Turns out it's a lot easier to live with if you can hold it, turn it over, and talk about it. I know for a fact that I'm a better person because of therapy.
Pharmaceuticals probably aren't for everybody. But they sure as hell helped me. I credit them in part with the healthy marriage, productive professional life, and happy social life I have now. I'm going to have a freakin' baby next month, and I'm psyched about it. You can work through this.
Good luck. You're already drowning in advice, but here's my story. Cheers!