I call it "lazy genuis". I'm pretty old now (50) and experiencing burnout for the first time. Fwiw I've always been mildly successful rising to the upper grades of 3 different fields, draftsman, CG (Technical Director) and programmer (I hold the Architect title now) all self taught. I wish I had some words of wisdom for you, I don't. I guess just know you are not alone.
