This is why I still find jiu jitsu so beautiful - it requires a basic level of skill to beat someone's ass, but it's another thing entirely to control them so well that inflicting damage becomes optional.
I once heard it described as "drunken uncle" martial arts. When your drunk uncle is being an ass at christmas dinner, you want an escalating scale of options, ranging from "suddenly he's in the living room unharmed and doesn't know why" and moving through "he's in a great deal of pain but hasn't taken any damage as you escort him out the door" to "that spiral fracture in your arm is going to take 6 months to heal". Not all forms teach that kind of finesse.
