Hacker News new | past | comments | ask | show | jobs | submit login

Also, look at other sources of stress in your life. As I've mentioned before, I had neighbors who made my life hell. As a result, I never invited people over. I was always dependent upon an invitation and going somewhere else.

Additionally, and primarily, I was so stressed and not feeling good about myself, that I felt awkward in conversations. The questions about immediate life; well, my answers -- and I've always had trouble dissembling -- were not "good" and "cheerful."

This all becomes more and more of a Catch 22. You're not doing well. Your social life dwindles. You feel worse for the lack of a social life and engagement.

And, those social engagements you do have, can take on too much meaning. Too much import. And you choke.

So... Look at sources of (negative) stress in your life. And minimize them where you can't eliminate them. This isn't some mantra to "feel better" (in the face of reality). This is an action plan. Not always an easy one, but where you can identify problems and -- hopefully -- solutions.

My best wishes to everyone who faces this.




Focing on your stress, avoiding inviting people over, it sounds like your problem is before your eyes. There will always be stress. How we see people depends mostly on how they handle it.


I had a lot of advice to "get used to things." Family, friends, even some health care professionals.

It placed all the burden on me, to accommodate the stressors.

This is an anti-pattern. That is my point.

Work through and past and away from the negative stress. You have a right -- and responsibility -- to do so. And you'll feel less uncomfortable around other people, when you feel like you're taking care of yourself.


"There will always be tasks you can't automate away, so... don't try to automate your tasks away."

(This isn't to say that resilient patterns can't help you engage with potentially stressful situations OR help you get in, chop wood, and move through tasks that aren't easily automated... just that "there will always be stress/tasks/entropy/hunger/fill-in-the-blank" doesn't seem to be a compelling reason to avoid efforts to mitigate any of them.)




Guidelines | FAQ | Lists | API | Security | Legal | Apply to YC | Contact

Search: