That reminds me of the opening scene of 'idiocracy'.
I didn't downvote you, but I think that there is something missing here. Nobody that has ever brought a child in to the world had absolutely everything in order. And even if they thought they did they would have soon found out that it was not the case.
Then there is the period (pun not intended) between conception and delivery, in which a lot can change.
Waiting for the 'perfect time' is the best way to guarantee that you will never have children, there never is a perfect time, there will always be one more thing to fix.
Instead, if you want children, go for it while you are young, adaptable and have tons of energy. Worry about fixing problems if and when they appear. Try to do the best you possibly can and if you fail at something try to do it gracefully.
That is not a call to go and procreate if you for instance are not able to feed your kids or take care of them, but let's not overdo it on the having everything in order, that's a complete illusion.
My parents had 'everything in order' when they got me and my sister, fast forward 6 years and they had a very messy divorce, there are countless examples like that. And there are plenty of counterexamples too, of people that had a pretty tough life, decided to have children and simply did an amazing job of creating a place for them in the world.
"Then there is the period (pun not intended) between conception and delivery, in which a lot can change."
In the roughly three years between when I was conceived and shortly after my sister was born, my parents went from having 2 jobs and no kids to having no jobs and 2 kids. 1981-82 was a harsh recession.
Instead, if you want children, go for it while you are young, adaptable and have tons of energy.
I can appreciate the logic in that, but I'd caution anyone against jumping into a commitment of that magnitude before they've achieved some minimum threshold of maturity.
To illustrate my point, the rate of divorce declines rapidly as the age when married increases. In my experience, the same factors that contribute to a successful relationship also prepare (to the small degree that preparation is possible) a person for the utter, absolute responsibility and sacrifice that is parenthood.
i appreciate your answer, which i think is the best kind of answer people generally give.
but i want to ask you to consider something without any incredulity about my seriousness:
if you had not been born, you would not be bothered by not existing. and when eventually your parents die, they would no longer be bothered by not having had children.
> but i want to ask you to consider something without any incredulity about my seriousness:
Ok, that's fine with me.
> if you had not been born, you would not be bothered by not existing. and when eventually your parents die, they would no longer be bothered by not having had children.
Ah, ok, I get it now. Ok, I've 'considered' it, now what?
It's a bit too philosophical for me, you could ask anybody to 'consider' that and they would most likely land on 'but that isn't how it happened'.
Asking someone to consider some alternate reality and what their position would have been in that alternate reality is difficult stuff, at a minimum you'd have to concede that you can't really consider any 'alternative universes' simply because this is the one we've got.
So, in this universe, I exist, I'm happy I do and my parents, even though they probably made a wrong decision or two did have two kids.
The line of reasoning you are pursuing leads to either a very empty planet or to a planet with different people, two random specimens of which could be having this exact same conversation on a nodesloc called latest.zjoiner.com.
Ah, the void of non-existence is certainly filled with emptiness. It's what happens to the living that matters, though. Put another way, is Schrödinger's cat alive or dead? Does it matter if you don't intend to open the box?
The author said "live a _comfortable life_ and save for daughter's college". He chose _not_ to live a comfortable life and he should be chided for this.
Even if he could not save for his daughter's college, there are always other options available: scholarships, working while attending college, starting a community college and transferring (I did this for undergrad and paid my way through graduate school).
I voted you up (because your question deserves attention), but "only families with two six digit incomes and significant savings should have children" (what you need for a "comfortable life" while saving for a college educate) is a very scary argument to make. Note, I am _not_ saying families shouldn't hold off on children until basic financial situation is stable: you should still be able to provide a healthy life for yourself and your children, etc...
for the record, i don't think families with two six digit incomes should have children either. they're existence is dependent on the lives of people who do not earn six digit incomes, and so they are guilty of just as much misery in this world.
> for the record, i don't think families with two six digit incomes should have children either. they're existence is dependent on the lives of people who do not earn six digit incomes, and so they are guilty of just as much misery in this world.
That's a very odd comment. Two six digit incomes is a family of two engineers (2-5 years into their career) in Silicon Valley. Two $120,000-$150,000 incomes in Silicon Valley means "can afford a single family home, as long as both spouses are employed".
"They're" (I think you meant their) existence is not dependent on the lives of people who do not earn six digit incomes, amongst them are also people (doctors, engineers, scientists) who are making the lives of less fortunate much less miserable.
That also describes my parents and would very likely describe my own family (I've been earning a six digit income since two years out of college), so it's not something extra ordinary.
your existence is very much dependent on the lives of people who do not earn six digit incomes. take a good look at 99% of the objects you depend on. take a good look at 99% of the labour you depend on.
Because until you have children, you may think you have all your affairs in order, but once that baby comes, everything is out the window. The down votes are almost certainly from parents.
