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> usually asking whether I or another party are disagreeing merely at DH2 Tone (as per Paul Graham's levels of disagreement) or some higher level. What's the dang-approved way to ask this?

That seems like a good way to ask it right there.

Possibly I misread you in this case (possibly even in every case!) but my sense is frequently that you are not asking someone a question so much as implying that they have no serious concern, only emotional baggage that they're irrationally unwilling to let go of. That's a form of derision, and it doesn't lead to better arguments.

But if I've gotten you completely wrong, I'd be happy to see it and apologize.




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