(I am not black or american) I am going to come across as clueless here but why is that 'nr' is offsensive for black people.. and yet every movie with black people has them screaming this word all the time. And the rap music is filled with them. If they find it offsensive, why do they keep using it.
I have asked this to my local population here but we don't have the necessary insight into this phenomenon. Is there any parallels to this where it's ok to call each other something but others cannot call you that (so it can help me understand better)? Thanks!
The fact is, the meaning of words can entirely flip over time, and meaning is informed by the context in which the word is spoken. The evolution of "nigga" is such that within the right context its meaning is neutral or positive. It is essentially a reclaimation a word that was used to denigrate. The problem is that there are still people who would use the "nigger" version as an insult. These are two similar sounding words with two entirely different meanings. Which one is intended is largely determined by context. The usual assumption is that anyone who is not black (or someone where a close friendship is already established) is intending it in the negative way. But there are plenty of blacks who don't like any version of the word at all.
(I'm white and American.) My understanding is that Black people have taken a word that was used against them and "reclaimed" it. What used to be a white person's word is now a Black person's word. That's very powerful.
That's not to say of course that all Black people agree that it's acceptable for them to use it. But I believe that's the thinking for those who do.
It's similar, with important differences, to the word "queer," which used to be an insult until the LGBT community (disclosure: of which I'm a part) reclaimed it. The major difference, of course, is that straight people can say queer, while white people can't say... well, you know. And of course the story of oppression of Black people is unparalleled in this country. As oppressed as LGBT people have been, we were never shipped over the seas and enslaved.
American and Black. It is a bad part of american black 'culture'. It is illogical, and it is ignorant. Its not really anything more than that. Rap has done a disservice in that regards... on the other hand the only word that is probably more common than nr in rap is bitch and hoe... its bitch and hoe this, bitch and hoe that...
and yet i have never heard anyone ever ask how come they shouldn't be saying bitch or hoe to women.
I lack the cultural insight but from far across the seas here it seems that using the n-word is borderline illegal unlike bitch/hoe. Didn't kramer get crucified for using that word? Do you think he would have gotten the same reaction if he had used the words you mentioned? (His entire career went kaput after all).
Bitch/hoe are terms that the politically powerful majority use to keep a minority in check. The people who use bitch/hoe are already on the skirts of society. The people who used nigger casually included powerful people of all stripes, right up to senators (and probably a few presidents). Bitch/hoe was never seen as something that a 'respectable person' would legitimately say.
If your mom calls you "honey", it's fine, if some guy you don't know calls you "honey", perhaps it's not fine. So, there are other examples of names that have different meanings depending on who is speaking to you.
I am non-white and American, so I'm not wondering what the GP comment is, but this example isn't very helpful at all. It's hardly rare for strangers to call people "honey" in everyday interactions, and I've been called that by men as well. Those men generally happen to be gay, but that says more about our attitudes towards masculinity and the way men can express themselves than anything inherently wrong with them saying that. The only reason I can imagine that would bother someone is that they're uncomfortable with homosexuality or old-fashioned about masculinity. (If this seems wrong to you, consider whether you'd find it weird if a female waitress or something called you "honey" and what exactly the difference would be if she was "some guy").
Funny you should mention that. Our US office receptionist (who is in her 60s) uses this word all the time to strangers. "Oh let me help you with that honey". Initially I found it condescending (for no reason), but now I am used to it.
you can totally google this question, you know. that's a lot of history (200 years) for someone to sum up for you when the information is already out there, although I understand your curiosity and lack of local knowledge.
my initial thought was the usual thing, that it has a totally different meaning when used by black people than when used by white people, but then i realized, because the way you put it, "...every movie with black people has them screaming it", that i really haven't heard it used by actual black people in the flesh all that often. i would guess no more than how often i've heard white people using it, again, in the flesh.
I have asked this to my local population here but we don't have the necessary insight into this phenomenon. Is there any parallels to this where it's ok to call each other something but others cannot call you that (so it can help me understand better)? Thanks!