It's kind of eerie to read this. What you've described is exactly how the nerds felt in your high school.
When they got to college, they found a social group that would accept them without them having to pretend to like the things they don't care about. Apparently that's a bad thing.
It is only a bad thing when they become exclusive about it. And that is bad for all the same reasons that the way they were treated in high school is bad.
Speaking personally I grew up without a TV, get motion sick if I play first person shooters, and don't like sushi. Despite being a stereotypical geek in many ways I can't count the times when I've felt excluded by the fact that I don't know Monty Python inside out, have avoided most games produced in the last 15 years, and don't want to eat at certain restaurants.
I can only imagine how much worse it can be if I didn't catch and appreciate other geek references.
who said that's a bad thing? All I tried to say is that it's possible to both be actively looking for members and simultaneously rejecting them at the same time; possibly without even realizing it. So even when you think you're being inclusive, you might be exhibiting in-group behavior that's offputting to others.
I suspect that often girls in CS are effected by this.
If you read me as implying judgement, I apologize, I did not intend that.
(Also, your implication that I was not a nerd and/or cool in high school is way off. But that's cool.)
When they got to college, they found a social group that would accept them without them having to pretend to like the things they don't care about. Apparently that's a bad thing.