Questions for the author whom I presume is unavailable...
If it was clear to both parties that the other did not enjoy the same activities... why would you expect to be invited to those activities? Why would it bother you to not be invited to an activity you probably would not enjoy?
The only answer seems to be that she was lonely, so she put on a mask to fit in... not really surprising but seems a bit shallow and I can't imagine it really being personally fulfilling. Would not her time have been better sent seeking out those with whom she shares more common interests?
I guess I think that I would have enjoyed some of the activities (e.g. I do watch some Sci-fi flicks), but as they had a perception of me not being like them, they assumed I wouldn't like anything at all.
But, right, ultimately, its about realizing that I am not as interested in most of the things that my colleagues were interested in, and I am hoping that the diversity of my colleagues increases so that would not be the case.
I seek out other stuff like dance lessons, art classes, etc, but it does take time to meet the strangers at those activities. I still prefer that stuff (even if its by myself) to going to the pub, which is the defacto activity around here.
I'm a very big video game nerd, but I'm also interested in stuff like dance and the outdoors. Has it not been your experience that your D&D-playing colleagues also do things completely unrelated to nerdom?
> If it was clear to both parties that the other did not enjoy the same activities... why would you expect to be invited to those activities? Why would it bother you to not be invited to an activity you probably would not enjoy?
Agreed. The main feel I get from the article seems to be frustration about how she doesn't fit in, but that and it's inevitable result are not her fault, and not the other people's fault. We are more than happy to have diverse people working in our field, and it's totally ok to like different things.
I guess the trouble is you share a common interest in cs with the group. But because your social interests are so disparate it's hard to then be part of the group.
The areas you want to hang out and talk to then about are overshadowed by the opposite interests.
I can see how one might conform a little so you could have a decent cs conversation :-)
If it was clear to both parties that the other did not enjoy the same activities... why would you expect to be invited to those activities? Why would it bother you to not be invited to an activity you probably would not enjoy?
The only answer seems to be that she was lonely, so she put on a mask to fit in... not really surprising but seems a bit shallow and I can't imagine it really being personally fulfilling. Would not her time have been better sent seeking out those with whom she shares more common interests?
Hope I am not too badly missing the point.