So here's a question, why don't you pick their brain back?
I'm intrigued with the idea of having a /conversation/ with someone over coffee and not being able to get anything in return out of them. It is almost as if they are asking her to coffee and then interrogating her, (which doesn't seem to be a very good ebb and flow of a conversation anyway). If these really are intelligent people, they must have something of intellectual value to offer in return.
If they are actually looking for a consultation, make it clear what your fees are.
I think that that would be polite and maybe even an easy way to make some cash.
That, or make sure that they take you out to a really nice place for dinner.
I would have to expect that if you were giving the advice away, and it is helpful advice, you might be able to better negotiate a favor out of the person at a later time. It might be a good idea to keep a record of these types of meetings.
Disclaimer: No one ever asks to pick my brain, but if I were asking to pick someone's brain, I would expect some sort of quid pro quo...
I think there is the expectation of quid pro quo, but that the vast majority of people asking to pick your brain don't have a lot to offer. I started getting asked this as soon as I started a company and it took me awhile to feel confident saying no. I felt like, who am I to strut around like my time is so valuable?
But from experience I've learned to be extremely wary. There's been a class of people who aggressively tried to push me off of my idea and into working for their secret idea (seriously, they would try to keep it secret). There was a class of people who thought that meeting might lead to some sort of business--but it never does. Then there's the class of people who want a partnership where we do free work up front and then they make some small amount of money down the road (and I never see how we make any). Looking back--the highlight was talking to people who had just left failing companies because it helps explain what not to do.
What happens when you are so well read that the only way you will benefit from the conversation is if they are in an entirely different area, and one that you are currently upskilling on? That may sound arrogant, but imagine trying to have a quid pro quo conversation with a rails noob about rails, after many years of constant rails apps. It's a purely one way conversation, and the same thing applies to any field.
I think that is a good question, but I assume that as a rails noob you probably had some mentor(s?) who pointed you in the right direction when you did stupid noob stuff. (Even if you learn mostly through books and blogs like I do, your knowledge is still beholden to someone else's instruction).
Maybe the exchange is an understanding that when the person you are teaching is an expert, he will pass on the information to another person.
That is a higher level exchange than the quid pro quo exchange, as it is more of a communal sharing of intellectual resources. Sometimes there is information that is important above and beyond its utility to me. It is important for me to share it.
Which I suppose gives an insight into why I feel the way that I do about intellectual property. Yes, it is important that people are rewarded and compensated for their hard work and effort put into researching new things, but the real reason that you research and learn new things is so that you can pass it on.
We're social animals, and we shouldn't let go of that.
I'm intrigued with the idea of having a /conversation/ with someone over coffee and not being able to get anything in return out of them. It is almost as if they are asking her to coffee and then interrogating her, (which doesn't seem to be a very good ebb and flow of a conversation anyway). If these really are intelligent people, they must have something of intellectual value to offer in return.
If they are actually looking for a consultation, make it clear what your fees are. I think that that would be polite and maybe even an easy way to make some cash. That, or make sure that they take you out to a really nice place for dinner.
I would have to expect that if you were giving the advice away, and it is helpful advice, you might be able to better negotiate a favor out of the person at a later time. It might be a good idea to keep a record of these types of meetings.
Disclaimer: No one ever asks to pick my brain, but if I were asking to pick someone's brain, I would expect some sort of quid pro quo...