I saw the whole presentation. I have absolutely no idea what lmframework is or does. All I see are words and no actual information: http://lmframework.com/page.php?id=lmf
Sure, humor could help with pitching an idea or hurt it if used unwisely. But lack of information about what you specifically do will certainly hurt a lot more. In the slide 50/52 you say you've built the part that monetizes the rest of the (Internet-iPhone) gap but then the slideshow ends abruptly without any explanation. Sounds extremely fishy to me.
...and so on. If you can make your pitch more unique with humor in a way that doesn't cross any boundaries of taste (and if what you intend to be funny is ACTUALLY funny), then go for it!
For example, I saw a pitch to a room of startups, VC, and press that involved singing, dancing, weird accents, and a ukelele. I loved it and remembered the company's name, the product, the founder, the works. Because of that pitch (and their general attitude toward the tech ecosystem), that company's getting a video interview and a shot at a guest post on RWW.com.
I think in this case some might find your humor offensive "commie b*stard", or an overweight man in a ill fitting costume. The list jolie provides is correct. To me it looks like you searched reddit, more than doing a proper analysis of your startup. Also as others have pointed out you have no insight to even what your product is or how it works. Talk is cheap.
I'd say in a pitch, unless you're really good (judging from your question you're not quite there yet, and few people ever are) situational humor is OK, while all other humor should probably be cut completely. If something funny happens during the pitch, it's ok to joke about it. Planned humor usually doesn't go over well.
We had a phrase or two in our pitch (not the slides, but verbal communication) that were a bit humorous, and it happened to work really well. But it's very easy to overdo it, and ultimately, it's unlikely to make much difference.
Absolutely, if I will wear turtle neck and blue jeans to office everyday, people will laugh at me. But Steave Jobs can do that even when he is giving keynote in front of thousands of people. The difference is success.
Sure, humor could help with pitching an idea or hurt it if used unwisely. But lack of information about what you specifically do will certainly hurt a lot more. In the slide 50/52 you say you've built the part that monetizes the rest of the (Internet-iPhone) gap but then the slideshow ends abruptly without any explanation. Sounds extremely fishy to me.