It's interesting that I've had the complete opposite experience as a white man. The older I get the more respect I get in public, for no apparent reason. The painting example was so apt. No one would dare step between me and a painting. It's a very odd thing, as I don't feel like I deserve any more respect than I did 20 years ago.
When my hair went grey I started getting treated with respect instead of contempt by the cool dudes in guitar shops. I don't expect this to persist into my 60s though
Age is a weird prejudice because it depends so much on environment. In most companies, you're viewed negatively before age 30: you're expected to work the worst hours because the assumption is that you have nothing "better" to do and would just be out drinking. In Silicon Valley, you're viewed negatively after 30. Some doors close and others open.
I do find, strangely, that I'm way more attractive to women now that I'm older, even though my looks have (objectively) declined. Adolescent men are unwanted, invisible, and generally disliked by society unless they're in the top 5% for social skills; things get better at 25 and a lot better after 30... although I'm still glad that I married young because I'd imagine that the dating pool shrinks considerably.
> I do find, strangely, that I'm way more attractive to women now that I'm older, even though my looks have (objectively) declined.
Confidence and the way you carry yourself. In our teens and early twenties we tend to dress and act for others. As we get older that becomes less common, or we become better at selling our appearance (attire, demeanor, etc.) as ourselves and not a façade. Whether that's a hoodie and jeans and converse sneakers, or a suit and tie, or something in between doesn't matter (mostly).
Also, in your twenties you're still putting on muscle mass and filling out some. If you maintain decent physical conditioning you won't have that scrawnier look that a lot of teens have. You probably have broader shoulders and a fuller face than you did in your younger years, it looks healthier and more attractive, even if it's paired with gray hair and wrinkles.
as soon as you start talking about what people are actually attracted to (not what they say they are), the shit starts to fly. my comment has swung up/down in votes throughout the day.
