I think people irrationally get offended by swearing. There's a big difference between "you're gay" meant to insult somebody and "whatever gay shit you want" indicating that they think the content might be too unimportant, pretentious or touchy-feely. None of them have anything to do with actual homosexuals and doesn't sound like homophobia at all, just misunderstandings of different cultures.
That said, it can be a clue that the person might be generally disrespectful of others and to be on the lookout for real harm they may do. Though it's a dangerous slide from "does what bad people do" to "is a bad person" which is a kind of discrimination.
I think the issue in the article was that someone in the group took offense and called out said speaker on his language, and the speaker just fumbled around instead of apologizing. Even a quick "Yeah, sorry," would have at least been a gesture at respect.
With the number of people and experiences out there, we're going to offend people. What matters is how we behave when we're called out.
So you're absolutely right in that "it can be a clue that the person might be generally disrespectful of others."
You know, I don't know what to do on the spot when somebody shows offence at my jokes. Apologizing indicates you think you did something wrong and makes an implicit promise to change your behavior (forever!). Not something to instinctively respond with or you end up apologizing for all kinds of genuinely harmless things and people will take advantage of that.
The problem with people being offended with swearing is that some people use it as carte Blanche to "feel triggered".
When I contracted at salesforce, I swear it is probably of the most gay friendly companies I have work for...
I felt like 40% of the people I met were gay. The thing though was there was one guy that was an asexual, and he was pretty damn good at his job, but so high-strung that anything seemingly could trigger him...
I swear. A lot. And when you're in a small team/startup that's fine... But in the larger enterprises... Not so much.
Recently, I said the word "bullshit" in my new office and turned a bunch of heads...
If my shit doesn't launch properly I'll say "fuck" and for me - it's appropriate.... Some people don't like it. For this reason alone, I don't like the open office idea... But only because I am tired of triggering people who are offended by swearing.
> I think people irrationally get offended by swearing.
American people do, yes. At least for the last few years. Rest-of-world is more relaxed about it. And here in the UK it can be a sign of affection to call a friend a 'daft cunt'.
Yep. Austrialians I know are notorious for calling things "gay". I don't think the concept of gayness is going on in their heads, that's just the word they grew up using to make complaints with. This Billy even said that all his friends were assholes and he likes them that way. They probably "insult" each other as much as they did the programmers and it'd just their culture.
I think people irrationally get offended by swearing
As you said, there is nothing particularly offensive about what the person said (it certainly doesn't seem to be homophobia. It doesn't discount it at all, but by itself is essentially nothing). If it was made into some tense, awkward situation, well that's on everyone involved.
Having said that, everyone should avoid those sorts of statements, however benign, because under the lens of reconsideration, where people are looking for a narrative, it's easy to make them look much worse than intended.
That said, it can be a clue that the person might be generally disrespectful of others and to be on the lookout for real harm they may do. Though it's a dangerous slide from "does what bad people do" to "is a bad person" which is a kind of discrimination.