Others in this thread have first-hand experience with cancer and have offered better advice than I could try to, and I don't have anything else substantial to contribute. I just want to wish you good luck with your new job if you proceed there, and many years of happiness with your soon-to-be wife!
I think a support network for depressed hackers is a great idea, and I'd love to help out in some way (though I'm sort of lacking in technical skill).
That said, I also agree with what dandrews says: http://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=5348693
Don't overexert yourself trying to help. If you think helping others will help you, then sure, go right ahead! But please be focused on your own recovery. We'll need a stable leader if we want to do this right ;)