I'd recommend a gun safe for a number of reasons besides this, but if you don't have access to the safe it might be a solution to the possession problem.
Their function also improves the results if the drink is more basic. A drink with a pH of 13 would have an amazing score on here.
If you normalize the pH above 5.5 since it has "little to no effect" things on the lower end of the results are better, with milk being worse than water, and chocolate milk being worse than milk.
This shows how bogus it is - you can put lots of sugar in a basic drink and it would score well.
The key point for me is why is concentration of sugar in mg/cl? Why not mg/l, or g/l, or oz/gallon? Each one would give a different answer, and all are equally justifiable. (There is also the weird idea that a decrease in pH of 1, which is 10 times the concentration of H+, would therefore be 10 times as bad.)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_Fire_of_Rome