It's akin to http://c2.com/cgi/wiki?ZeroOneInfinityRule. If you started out thinking it was just a switch, you should be very reluctant to add a third state without rethinking what you really need to express, or you end up with my favorite from TheDailyWTF:
enum Bool {
True,
False,
FileNotFound
};
This would have been much safer as separate AUTHENTICATE_CERT (which checks the CA sig and expiry and revocation) and VERIFY_CERT_COMMON_NAME options, both of which default to true.
Your more general adage is useless. The one you responded to is useful. A more useful, also general adage would be "the more choice in selecting parameters to an API, the more likely there will be bugs consuming that API."
In this case I think it wouldn't cause bugs if the effect of 1 and 2 would be switched. Then everybody would use it like a boolean and that would be fine, only the few people who really want the name-check disabled would use that option.