I know of no way at this time to run one's own instance or federate.
There are of course significantly less users compared to the main instance, but it should give you some confidence that federation dev work is on the right track.
It has to be better somehow, and the whole selling point is decentralization to sidestep the possibility of recreating the current Twitter fiasco.
That goal is not yet achieved, which means it's below parity.
https://bsky.app/profile/emily.bsky.team/post/3jziqq7fgjm2p
I know of no way at this time to run one's own instance or federate.