+1 for this. No church is perfect, but my experience is that church is a place where I can go to gather with people from diverse backgrounds, perspectives, and needs and come together on some common points: we need more than ourselves to make it through life, we need to be kinder, and we should serve each other.
I have seen my congregation rally around new parents, people with mental health conditions, and other such common struggles. Serving others is a great way to feel that you are part of a community. Church can be a great framework for that kind of thing.
While I totally understand why you'd find community there, I am surprised that you'd consider Church to be a place to find people of diverse backgrounds. That hasn't at all been my experience
My church has one couple where both spouses were born in the same country.
We span many past religions and world views. Poor backgrounds and wealthy.
But we all now hold a very similar world view. So we don't have the kind of diversity some people think of. We're not defined by our pasts as much as we are by our common beliefs.
Yes, I'm a practicing Catholic and attend Church often with my fiancee.
Everyone is welcome to even attend Mass (they just don't receive communion) and participate in activities that we organize. We also have many support groups for elderly, grieving families, young adults and so on.
Additionally, if you want to do volunteer work, contact the closest Catholic Church. You can join pretty much all of the events regardless of your background.
We are not some "exclusive" membership, the doors are open.
This is one of those things where when you realize it, it's almost embarrassing how obvious it should have been.
The Church is 2000 years old. It has outlasted basically any other institution that has ever existed in the history of humanity. The things The Church encourages are:
1) Building families
2) Building communities
3) Using these things to make the world a more loving place through volunteerism
It should not be surprising that this is a good place to make friends and connect with your community.
Church is great for this specifically because it's a social group that spends all its time espousing the idea that all men are created equal, therefore ALL backgrounds are welcome. The most important piece of social mobility is knowing those outside of your economic circle.
Example: You need a job, you know your great buddy Bob has a spot that you could hop into, he knows you pretty well and that you're not an idiot, so he hires you on the spot into a job you never would've had the qualification for otherwise.
The issue I have with churches, specifically Catholic and other large ones, is belonging to and participating in an organization that has collectively done so many bad things to humans just doesn't sit well with me. Then there's the element of collecting money and hoarding it and its a huge turn off.
You may say "the doors are open" and in fact they may be in your local church but official membership has requirements, rules to follow and some larger churches also are very much opposed to equality for all humans. I don't believe the Catholic church (or other denominations of Christianity, or Mormon church) would allow a LGBT couple to officially join.
I understand that yours and others experiences don't reflect the entirety of ~1700 years of the organized state religion of the Roman Empire. When we're talking about finding community outside of work, I find large churches will have a facade of community but in practice are not as welcoming to all.
> I don't believe the Catholic church (or other denominations of Christianity, or Mormon church) would allow a LGBT couple to officially join.
That's not entirely true. No legitimate catholic church would prohibit lgbtq couples from joining. The more conservative ones definitely would not condone their lifestyle, however, and probably none would agree to marry them. So if you are lgbtq you should probably just give some serious thought into more liberal denominations.
I was pointing out an obvious example of a facade of "welcoming all" from the community (would not prohibit people from joining, anyone can show up and volunteer) vs. really welcoming all where anyone could be full members through all of their ceremonies like baptism, confirmation, marriage, etc. or even allowing anyone to pursue theological leadership positions like pastor, deacon, priest, etc.
The Catholic Church is complicated around LGBTQ issues. Some communities are more welcoming than others, but there is always a limit to how welcomed an LGBTQ person would be.
The Episcopal Church is very welcoming of LGBTQ people, however. We perform same-sex marriages and ordain LGBTQ people to clergy. My particular parish is marching in a local Pride parade this year.
Start a morning coffee group that meets weekly. Been regularly attending the last decade. A silver lining of the pandemic is now we meet around a morning fire when it's the proper season.
Agree. Obviously if you're a staunch atheist or otherwise just can't stomach the idea of "God," then visiting a church not recommended. But if you grew up Christian and drifted away, or you can entertain the possibility of a higher power, then I recommend checking out a church as a place to find community.
Denominations are different flavors of Christianity, and which denomination you visit is important. I'm personally a member of "The Episcopal Church," which I find to have a very small amount of dogma and is tolerant of a wide range of beliefs. The theological dogma can be summarized in the "Nicene Creed," which is a pretty short list of what the church holds to be true (and even if you as individual differ, TEC is chill about that). After that, members of The Episcopal Church are more united in what they do together rather than what they believe togther - songs, taking communion, common readings, etc. The Episcopl Church is generally one of the more liberal/progressive churches around (we ordain women and LGBTQ individuals into the clergy and perform same-sex marriages, for example).
Otherwise, it's a nice group of people that I see every week. A lot of churches have a "coffee hour" or a meal after the service, and it's a time to chit chat with others. They care about me and I care about them, and people check in on each other to see how everyone is doing. When we had a baby, people brought us food, and we always get cards in the mail for birthdays and such. It's nice.
Since we're a community of people, we can sometimes work together to accomplish things I wouldn't be able to do on my own. We run a food pantry and we've supported families fleeing from bad situations (and not in abstract sense, but doing the legwork of finding an apartment in town and providing furniture and stuff). One family attends our services, and their kid is about my kid's age, so we've become friends over that.
Again, I know religion can invoke strong feelings, so if the very idea is offputting, leave it alone, it's fine. But for me, it's been a community I've appreciated having.
I’m not religious at all, rather agnostic, but my wife is a nonpracticing Christian. (Although I find a good sermon/pastor to be motivating, thought provoking, and just full of basic life lessons that happen to he documented in an old book).
I’m fine with the concept of the right church because of the community effects especially as a parent and wanting my kid to have as many positive role models as possible in his life; peers/adults/seniors. So after many years of being with my wife, we decided to start when my kid was 4. We actually wanted to start earlier but it’s a hard habit to just introduce, then 2020 happened, etc so here we are. It’s been quite a positive adjustment. It’s easy to see the cult and abuse headlines and write it off, but when done right I still think it’s incredibly powerful and religion as a whole is just a framework for peaceful civilization and coexistence with communities.
If they scrapped the sky fairy parts and just made it a weekly social event with interesting speakers and stories then church would actually be quite an attractive option
You might be interested in the Unitarian Universalist Church. I'm not a member so can't speak directly to it, but I'm friends with a few people who are. I once heard it affectionately teased as the place for people who don't believe in God but like going to church.
I expect sect/denomination has an influence here because my experiences in the past were strictly familial, no one made friends there though there are familiar faces. Once service is over, it was Sunday brunch with family.
At any rate, potential friendship is a weak rationalization for joining a religion when there are many avenues to do this.
Imagine going to a movie theater, watching a movie, then leaving and not talking to anyone afterwards. Naturally, that is a terrible way to engage in the movie enthusiast community.
On the other hand, if you spend time with some people, go and watch the movie together, and talk afterwards, it'll feel a whole lot more impactful and you'll find the shared experience fosters a sense of community if you do it on a regular basis.
Denominations, and individual churches within a church, will definitely all have different levels of cohesiveness and character to their communities. It begins and ends, however, with getting out what you put into it.
> Imagine going to a movie theater, watching a movie, then leaving and not talking to anyone afterwards
Uh, I don't know about you but I've never known anyone leaving a theater try to solicit strangers for conversation. You talk to the people you arrived with.
Of course it will not be for everyone, but if you are open to it you can try.