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I've been feeling this recently but had some breakthroughs about it.

A very experienced adult has strong notions of what is possible. If you're around very successful people these notions are lofty.

Sure it's possible to bang out a program in an afternoon. I used to do it. My coworker does it all the time. But I am not doing it now so there must be something very wrong. Maybe I'm too old or depressed or have ADD or ...

I found you just have to really step out of your head for a second. My managers are genuinely happy with my progress even if its slow. They know they can count on me to understand the problem and keep advancing and deliver something that works, even if that takes weeks where it could theoretically be done in an afternoon.

Furthermore, they want me to be relaxed and happy and that means it's fine to play hooky or slack off some days.

So I just focus on my personal relationship with my coworkers, and my mental health, not my "productivity." I am not a robot.




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