I agree with a lot of what you are saying, but you haven't made over 40k between both you and your wifes income? That seems extremely unlikely with any coding skills. I don't know any juniors that are making less than 50k from php to javascript.
It's true. My first role was to work an unpaid intern for a year. Then my first salary was $20k, followed by $35k only after working there for a couple years. It was going to be $30k but I was able to negotiate.